The Art of Saying "No"- How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Let's face it, no one likes hearing the word "no". It's short, abrupt, and leaves you feeling like you just ticked someone off. The problem is that sometimes, you have to say it. 

This week, I want to talk about how to say "no" in a helpful way so you can set good boundaries for yourself but not feel guilty about it.

Let's go with a scenario:

Your sibling needs you to watch your niece or nephew while they go and do an errand. You love your niece of nephew and love being with them. The problem is that you're the ONLY one this family member calls when they need a babysitter. You feel like they don't even try to ask anyone else even though they say that they have asked "everyone". You've tried to say no in the past but end up feeling guilty and giving in because you want to help. 

You know that you can say no but again, you feel guilty. STOP THAT! It's important for you to set clear boundaries for yourself with your sibling. It's not going to be easy but here are a few things you can say:

"I would love to help but today isn't good for me." IF they try to guilt you, simply stand firm and state that you have another commitment at that time.

"You know I love my niece/nephew and would love to see them but it seems that you don't ask anyone else. Are you sure there is no one else that can step in, this time?"

If they try a guilt trip or say they again tried everyone, gently ask if the errand can wait until their spouse gets home or if you can ask a neighbor to step in. Again, set the boundaries. It's not that you don't want to help, it could simply mean you don't have the bandwidth for it all the time.

This is just one example of a scenario. The point is to say "no" as politely as possible while also making it clear that you need to set clear boundaries for both of you to respect and keep. 

If you say no to a situation or person, you should never feel guilty for doing so. Prioritizing yourself is not always easy. It takes a significant mindset shift to take control of your time and availability. If you're a "people pleaser" this will not be easy. Start with something small like saying no to a get together that you may not want to go to. I bet once you say it once, it will get easier each time!

Until next week remember, your mindset matters and so do you!